Happy Birthday, Leo!

Kabru sighed, checking his watch for the 15^th time in as many minutes. It was 12:07, which was seven minutes past the agreed-upon meeting time, and still the person he was waiting for hadn't shown up. Merely seven minutes wasn't enough to give cause for real concern, given the other party's tendency for lackadaisical behaviour, but still Kabru found himself idly considering car crashes or other dramatic incidents that may have caused lateness. He wasn't worried, though. Of course he wasn't. He'd never worry about his—

His b—

“Kabruuuuuu~!”

Ah, there he was. Laius disentangled himself from the crowd and came trotting over eagerly to where Kabru stood, next to a fountain in the middle of the city square. They were in the historical district, where the roads were still cobbled instead of paved and the shops were squished together in old timey charm. Laius had insisted on meeting Kabru here, saying there was an excellent restaurant Kabru just had to try. “All of their food is organic!” Laius had said excitedly. “Sustainably sourced from local farms.”

Well, as long as it wasn't monster, Kabru could probably deal with it.

“Sorry I'm late,” Laius said, drawing up to Kabru and rubbing the back of his head bashfully. “I overslept. Are you ready for our date?”

Argh. How could Laius say stuff like that so easily? Kabru made a shushing motion with his hand, hoping his face wasn't red. At least his dark skin hid when he blushed.

“Oh, sorry,” Laius whispered. “Are you ready for our date?”

Sometimes Kabru really wondered what was wrong with him, that he'd fallen in— That he'd crushed on— That he'd even consented to date Laius Thorden. Lynn had stared at him, mouth agape, when he'd finally reluctantly admitted to her that yes, he and Laius were, ugh, dating.

“You're gay?” she'd asked, incredulous. “And for that?”

Yeah, for that, Kabru thought glumly, as Laius grabbed his hand and started to tow him in the direction of the restaurant. Kabru mightily resisted the urge to tug his hand out of Laius's grip, settling instead for staring venomously at the cobblestones beneath his feet.

The restaurant was surprisingly nice. It was small, with a French name, and appropriately decked out in Parisian décor. Large windows at the front of the store let sunlight stream in, making Laius's blonde curls glow faintly. Not that Kabru was spending any of his time looking at Laius. Instead, he perused the menu, and coughed into his water when he noticed the prices of the items listed in tiny font beside their names.

“Order whatever you want!” Laius said, in what appeared to be a rare moment of processing social cues. “I'm paying.”

“Why?” said Kabru, the urge to shut up and accept free food losing out to hating like feeling he was being babied.

Laius blinked, looking surprised Kabru had even asked. “A gentleman always pays for his date.”

Kabru bit back a tiny scream. “Then I'll pay for the next one.” Next one?! Fuck, what was he saying??

Laius just beamed happily. “Okay! You can choose where we go, then.”

Kabru returned his attention to the menu furiously, his face hot. Why, why, why did Laius always do this to him? What was it about the stupid man that turned Kabru weak at the knees like this? One of these days Kabru was just going to push him into oncoming traffic to be rid of him. No, there were too many witnesses if he did it that way. Poison? Laius would eat anything put in front of him, no matter how weird or gross looking. But that would involve too much preparation, and Kabru would be left a body to deal with—

The waiter arrived at their table then, breaking Kabru out of his train of thought. Laius ordered a dish of crepes, while Kabru chose pork on croute. The waiter took their order cheerfully, refilled their water glasses, and then left.

Kabru took a long drink of water as Laius chattered idly about what was going on in his life. His sister had finally started dating the elf who was clearly head over heels for her; Laius was considering adopting a dog, or at the very least volunteering at the local animal shelter; the Thordens had gotten a letter from their father but Farlyn had torn it up before Laius could read it. Look, weren't these dogs cute? Laius shoved his phone in Kabru's face, swiping through several pictures of furry creatures.

“...They're nice,” Kabru admitted.

Their food came. Kabru's dish was served in the skillet it had been baked in, juicy meat encased in a layer of soft flaky pastry. Laius's crepes were stuffed with Nutella and fruit, liberally dusted with powdered sugar. Kabru frowned. This was a lunch date. Why had Laius ordered a breakfast food?

There was silence for a while as Laius tucked in to his crepes happily. Kabru picked at his dish more conservatively. He had to admit, the food was quite nice, just as Laius had promised.

“That looks tasty,” Laius said after a minute, gesturing at Kabru's plate with his fork. “Can I have a bite?”

Well, there was no reason to tell him no. Kabru obligingly cut Laius a piece and set it on Laius's plate.

“Thanks!” Laius said happily. “Mmm, it's really good. Do you want a bite of mine?”

“...Sure,” Kabru said warily.

Laius scooped up a healthy bite of crepe and fruit on his fork, then held it out to Kabru. Kabru stared at it for a moment.

“Open wide,” said Laius, grinning.

In shock, Kabru opened his mouth to protest, but before he could say anything Laius gently deposited the crepe inside. Kabru chewed murderously.

Laius Thorden, I'm going to kill you!

Laius beamed happily at Kabru, oblivious to Kabru's distress. He was blushing, Kabru noticed. God, why did he have to be so cute? It was totally unfair.

...Maybe he'd wait until the next date to kill him.

~The end~